The Magic is Gone

The internet is boring. No one has anything new to say. My attention span is wasted. I spend all night multi-tasking on my phone. There’s no one to share it with. I have no one to tell about my day. I think even if he reached out, and he won’t, I couldn’t go back now. No one has ever picked me, and he couldn’t either. I pick people again and again only to then pick myself back up.

I don’t know how to fit in socially at work. I don’t know what I’m supposed to say. Every morning I get dressed, and even though I’m probably eating less than before, most of my clothes are too tight to be be physically or visually comfortable. I feel habits I try to lock away slip through.

No one gives me the right type of space.

I always thought it would get better, but I’ve had the same problems all my life. Nothing changes and no one stays.